Control: it’s something we all want, and we can all feel downright helpless without it. This goes for me, you, and yes, even your teenager. At Clearfork Academy, we receive calls every day that start out something like this: “My teenager is out of control. What do I do?”
Honestly, there’s not a magic solution because it’s not something that you can fix on your own. Sometimes, the thing to do is nothing.
Now, before you click away or scoff, let me explain: though it may seem counterintuitive, we have to remember that your children are also their own autonomous beings. We can facilitate, we can guide, but we are not in control of the actions they take. Those actions are something we have to let them own 100%.
So, what can we, the parents, control? This is a question that really reflects the serenity prayer:
"God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference."
Control dinner time, control your voice, and control each swipe of a credit card; control the parts of your family’s day that guide your children in the direction they need to go. The bottom line is we can only control the things that fall under our jurisdiction, and we have to leave the rest to someone else. That person can be your child, a third party like a psychiatrist or treatment facility, or even God.
Take a step back, and call on someone that can help you intervene. No matter how right you are, how informed you are, sometimes our kids are deaf to what their parents, grandparents, and even friends have to say. It can be that one extra person that will finally break through those walls your kiddo is hiding behind and help them make sense of where their life is going. I’ve seen it again and again, and that’s why we do what we do.
If your teen is out of control, let someone else help you get the message across and let them own their actions. It is about facilitation, cooperation, and relinquishing control over the things that we really never had control of in the first place.
If you’re searching for a treatment facility for your teen, give Clearfork Academy a call. We offer a residential 13-week program that is specifically designed to help adolescents find their truth and discover recovery. Our program is not just about recovery; it’s about teaching the life skills needed to move forward.